Ugh....

I have lately been really thinking about just who I am...mother, wife, nurse, sister, friend...I just feel that sometimes its the "mom" part that I cant quite get right. I love my children, I try to put them first, but sometimes, I get lost. I dont know why. I get tired and I dont know why, I feel like I shouldnt be tired, I have all day...but I am. I struggle with myself, my walk with the Lord, my weight, my relationship with my husband. I lack in so many areas that I find myself completely different than I remembered myself to be. I am scatterbrained(I have probably always been, but I dont remember ..lol), always eating, tired, yelling at the kids, crying over silly things, envying others lives and homes or home lives. I want christian friends for Shain and I, but we cant seem to go to a church for more than a couple Sundays in a row. Be it laziness, or Shain had to work or one of the kids was sick...it makes me feel depressed...
I had planned to go to Bible Study Fellowship this morning, but the school called me and Hailey was throwing up so I was unable to go. I wasnt able to go last week because Ethan was sick. Go figure. So, I stayed with Hailey for a few hours at the house until she started to feel much better and then I ran to Walmart. She did fine, I got the minimal amount of items and grabbed lunch on the way home(big no no) and then took her home for a nap. I sprayed the house for fire ants(they have been plaguing my kitchen for about a week) and then I took a nap. So much for my day. I completed zero laundry or any clean up in a single room.
Ethan had to be picked up before the girls got home, so I grabbed him from kindergarten...bad note from the teacher...the "I will call you" never makes me happy. Ethan was grounded to his room and still is...he keeps telling me how sorry he is, but this is day #3 with a bad note. I hate it. It makes me seem like I must be a horrible mother with no disciplining skills whatsoever.
I have a headache..am I whining enough yet? I need to stop writing this post. I am not feeling any better..

Finally on Blogspot...

My first post! I am excited about this! I love to blog, I just have been terribly busy lately. So, for my first blog, I would like to start out by saying, " MY God is an awesome God." I have been so terribly stressed out all weekend long about my role as a wife, mother, nurse and student. I have been doing a terrible job of juggling everything and finally after all of my balls started to fall, I turned to God for some assistance...even though that is what I should have done first. I started remembering some quotes and Bible verses and then quickly began to let go and let God. The quote that stood out was " No success in life can compensate for failure in the home" The verse that stood out was Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." and I have now began to feel a peace about my decisions.

My job, though somewhat important, isnt as important as my job as mother and wife. I need to focus on my family, keeping them first and enjoying the time that I have with them because I know it will pass by a lot faster than it seems. So, I decided to go to purely PRN at the hospital, only working when absolutely needed rather than being scheduled. I have also decided to spend more one on one time with each one of my children, the triplets dont hardly ever get one on one with me...because they are almost always together. Ethan gets one on one a lot. So I have made this a "scheduled" thing with the girls, not like an all day, but that each one of my kids gets some quiet alone time with mom, whether its reading a book or coloring, taking some pictures of just cuddling, thats time they deserve and need.

This blog is turning out to be long! Well, I am going to spend some time working on my template I guess! =)